How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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