ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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