Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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