he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
