I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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