Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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