Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
