Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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