just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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