he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
