Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
