I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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