even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Boobs speak an international language.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
