...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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