So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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