Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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