garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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