But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
