Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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