Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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