the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
