Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
