Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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