OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
