Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
