you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize