remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
