Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
How's work?
Spinning.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
