All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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