that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
