I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
