Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
