is your mom at the bar?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
