I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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