Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize