the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
