Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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