the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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