Kiss
Puke
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
