Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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