and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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