Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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