No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He uses pillows to masturbate.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
