Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This baby is an asshole
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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