Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
