I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
