yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
