You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
