I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
