after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
