Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
